Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Why I'll Never Take My Daughter to a Public Restroom Again...

So the other night we, the fam, went out to dinner. As always, right about the middle of our dining experience, Addie had to potty. It just happened to be my turn, which has not been a big deal until that particular night.

I toted my child into the men's room, as it should be since I would probably be arrested for going into the ladies room. (I did that once at Walmart, but that's for another time...)

When Add finished, I figured I should follow suit since the beer I had earlier with dinner started to kick in. As I was taking care of business my kid decided to take a let me just say as a parent, your child will have seen you naked at some point or another in their developing years so don't judge me. Up until this point it hasn't been an issue. She doesn't even have a name for her "lady parts" yet. She thinks everything down there is a "butt" and calls it that.

Oh yeah, and there was a dude in the bathroom at the same time...did I mention that?

Anyhoo...I'm using the potty and my kid yells "Daddy, what's that???"

The dude at the sink giggles...

"Daddy, is that YOUR butt???"

The dude giggles louder...

"Daddy, is that a little butt on your butt?"

The dude starts to laugh now...

"Daddy, that sure is a little butt"

Dude is now laughing hysterically...

Mommy will take her to the restroom from now on.

And for the record, the restaurant was cold, as was I...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Mom's Favorite Story

So my mother is a pretty good story teller, but there's just one story she can't seem to get through.  I'll hafta tell it to ya so's she doesn't have to.

It's about a mother, father and their 5 year-old little girl from the city who took a drive one day through the country.


They had never wandered out past the city limit signs before, but the parents wanted their little girl to experience what life in the country was like.

As they exited the city the little girl's eyes filled with wonder at all the trees and fields.

Her nose was pressed against the glass of her window as she saw all the farm animals grazing in their pastures.   She had never seen a cow, pig, or sheep in real life before...only in storybooks.

All of a sudden the father exclaimed "Look at that!"  And there was a cow in the middle of a field giving birth.  The family pulled off the road and sat as they watched one of nature's miracles in action.

The cow was standing up and seemed to be in trouble with her labor.  The family watched as they saw a hoof, then another hoof, then two legs came out from the laboring cow.  Then they saw what looked like a tail coming out.  The baby calf was coming out breech!  The family could hear the moans and moos as the mother pushed with all she had, noticeably in pain.  The father and mother stood hand in hand, praying for the cow to pull through.  The daughter just sat on the hood of the car in fearful amazement.

They sat there for an hour as they watched the baby calf slowly come out backwards.  Finally as the head came out, the calf fell to the ground.

The mother immediately turned around and cleaned off her new baby.    

The calf then stood up, all wobbly but determined to walk.  The mother lay down in obvious exhaustion from such an ordeal.

The father exclaimed "I think it's a miracle!"  "I think it's beautiful!" said the mother.  Then the father turned around and asked his daughter what she thought about what was witnessed.  "I think that calf must've been doin' every bit of 30 miles an hour when it plowed into the back of that cow!!!"

Mom couldn't never finish that story because she was laughin' so hard by the end of it.  She sure hopes you enjoyed it...and that's no bull!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

How Music Changed My Life

Anybody who is a musician can probably tell you the moment or even that changed their musical life. A concert, certain song, or fellow musician may have moved them to really dig what they listen to and play.  My life changing moment with music happened in 2002.

It was December and we had just switched from Comcast to DirecTV.  I remember flipping through the new channels and found a station that was playing concert series.  It just so happened that month they were playing Eric Clapton's One More Car, One More Rider tour, recorded in 2001 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.  It was and will always be the greatest concert I have ever seen.

The way that man played guitar and sang touched me like no other artist or musician.  Accompanied by musical greats like Billy Preston, Andy Fairweather Lowe, Steve Gadd, and Nathan East, Mr. Clapton inspired me to pick my guitar up with more respect than I had before.  I wanted to learn something new.  I wanted to move others like he moved me.

He didn't just play the blues, he did it all.  Blues, pop, and rock filled that arena for over two hours.  I bet if I ever walk in the Staples Center, I could still hear the echoes of that bright sunburst stratocaster ringing in the rafters.

He played classics like Layla and Tears in Heaven, along with his newest tunes from Reptile.  He opened with Key to the Highway and ended with an awesome rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  Somewhere in the middle he even played what would become my favorite song of all time, Sunshine of Your Love.  From his opening guitar lick to his bow at the end of the show I was mesmerized.  I played that concert nonstop all month long. I like to drove my wife nuts, but she liked how it inspired me.  I'll never be the same.

Thanks Mr. Clapton for changing my life, and making me want to play the guitar.

What music has inspired you or changed your life?

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